How to Escape the Black Top and Blue Jeans Cycle

Photo by Khoa Võ

I’m not trying to start a war with black tops and blue jeans. They’ve been good to us—safe, flattering, easy to throw on when we’re running late or already tired of the night before it starts. But lately, I’ve been looking around at parties, bars, anywhere people go to “go out,” and I can’t tell anyone apart.

I'm tired of that, and I think, deep down, a lot of us are too.

We all figured out the cheat code for looking cute and unbothered at the same time, and then we never left it. We’ve convinced ourselves that blending in is the same thing as being effortless. But if we’re being honest—none of it feels that good anymore. It feels boring. It feels like we’re dressing to be tolerated, not to be remembered.

So if you’re also tired of looking like a placeholder version of yourself every time you leave the house, here are five small, manageable ways I’ve been pulling myself out of the “uniform.” No pressure, no judgment. Just something different.

1. Interrupt the Formula

Instead of tossing your whole outfit out the window, change one part. Keep the black top, but wear trousers instead of jeans. Or swap the top for something colorful, something sheer, something secondhand and a little weird. When you disrupt the pattern even slightly, you’ll start to see yourself again.

I wore a miniskirt with a black top last weekend, and I felt more alive than I have in months—not because it was sexy or edgy, but because it wasn’t what I usually wear. I wasn’t invisible. That did something to me.

2. Let It Be Uncomfortable for a Second

The truth is, stepping outside your go-to look will feel awkward at first. You might second-guess your outfit the entire Uber ride. You’ll wonder if people are staring. Maybe they are. Maybe that’s kind of the point. We’ve been taught to dress in a way that avoids criticism. But the most stylish people I know are the ones who clearly don’t care if you like it or not. I want that kind of peace.

3. Stop Dressing for Instagram

There’s a difference between dressing for the camera and dressing for yourself. I used to build outfits thinking, “Would this look good in a photo?” but then I’d look back later and feel nothing. A good outfit should make you feel good in the moment—not just in a snapshot you post once and forget about.

4. Figure Out What You Actually Like

It sounds obvious, but it’s weirdly hard. Try paying attention to what colors you’re drawn to. What silhouettes feel the most you. What pieces you always reach for but talk yourself out of. Go to a thrift store alone. Don’t open Pinterest. Just try stuff on. Make it messy. This is the part no one shows, but it’s where all the good style comes from.

5. Choose Curiosity Over Approval

That’s really what this is about. Most of us dress to be approved of—by friends, dates, strangers in bathroom lines. But that approval is short-lived. Curiosity, on the other hand, lasts. Try things just to see how it feels. Wear the weird skirt. Layer the clashing prints. Look a little overdressed. Try, fail, try again. That's how personal style is actually built—not by doing what works, but by figuring out what matters to you.

You don’t need to reinvent your closet overnight. But if you’ve been feeling like your outfits don’t represent you anymore, listen to that. Dressing up should make you feel more alive, not more hidden.

You’re allowed to take up space. You’re allowed to wear something that gets noticed. You’re allowed to not look like everyone else.